we're blogging at a bar
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
