It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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