I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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