just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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