so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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