nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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