Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
