Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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