he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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