I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
