I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize