JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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