i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
