'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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