I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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