I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
