she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
