Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
