Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
