I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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