i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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