i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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