tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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