i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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