the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
