So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
