she looked like the before picture.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
