Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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