Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You are the jesus of drinking
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
