i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize