Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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