I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
