i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
