THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
