Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
