It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
