Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
