That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
