Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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