i already hear my dad disowning me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize