will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
