maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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