Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
