So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
