Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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