you win again, gameday.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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