awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
