apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
