whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize