Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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