At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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