He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
