also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
