To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
