I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
