sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
