apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
