Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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