just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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