He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
