I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
